Thursday, March 31, 2005

 

A Few Bad Sports

You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That the Celtic recent demise, while tragic, probably saved this team.

Cheesy references to a great monologue aside, the recent Celtic skid may be the best thing for the future of this team. When the Celtics reacquired ‘Toine, we here at Doom expressed skepticism at best, rage at worst. This was obviously a tough sell when ‘Toine played great and our team went on an impressive winning streak.

The last four games, however, have been unmitigated disasters. Sure, the Chicago, Detroit, and Dallas games were all against superior teams. The C’s played well in stretches, and the games were relatively close. But in each game, the C’s wilted in crunch time, playing frankly like pussies.

Consider this, in the fourth quarter the last three games (I’ll leave out the well documented embarrassment that was the Knick game), the “playoff ready” Celtics…


The Celtic veterans, especially ‘Toine and Pierce, are playing like shit in crunch time. Walker has reverted to the horrible player we all know he is, and Pierce is much more interested jawing with opposing teams and fans than actually winning.

Pierce has had two inexcusable metal errors causing the Celtics to lose the last two games, (1) celebrating rather than getting back on D as Sheed streaked down the court for the winning play, and (2) the ridiculously unnecessary behind the back pass to Stackhouse for a dunk (does that count for a negative assist?). At the time, the C’s still had life; after that play they were done. What a dick.

Things can turn around, but at the very least, Celtic Kool-Aid drinkers everywhere are slowly coming to the realization that a team built around Antoine Walker and Paul Pierce will never truly compete for a Championship. Better to know that now, it will be easier to take when ‘Toine is not signed and Pierce is traded this summer.

You want answers?
I want the Truth!


You can have him.


Thursday, March 24, 2005

 

Celtic Pride?

``We came out running our mouths and acted like a low-class team.'' - Rivers

The first few minutes of the game last night were some of the most embarrassing Celtic moments of recent memory. It went downhill from there.

A cocky and overconfident crew trotted out last night like they were the ’95-’96 Bulls. Talking trash to a far inferior Knick team, who proceeded to hand in to the Celtics with inspired play. If the Knicks somehow make the playoffs, they have Ricky Davis and especially Paul Pierce to thank.

Ricky decided to yap from the bench, declaring a 6-2 lead insurmountable. Ricky, I love you, but shut the fuck up. If you’re going to talk shit like that (calling other NBA players garbage), you better make sure you can back it up. When you don’t, you’re just a bitch. Ricky didn’t back it up; neither did any other Celtic (sorry Rdfan).

"They came out talking. You don't want to start a fight. But when someone challenges you,
you have to step up. When we did that, they backed down.” - Crawford

If this were a Championship caliber team, the coach and captain would have eschewed such hysterics after the first T’s. Why get in a pissing match with a team you have OWNED this year? Rather, our captain decides to make a manly stand against the perennially disappointing and generally uninterested Tim Thomas. Thing is, Thomas didn’t back down. Rather than mail it in, Thomas and his teammates took the Celtic talk and shoved it up their collective ass. They hustled. They played D. They hit the boards. They dunk, and dunked, and dunked.

Pierce responded too – like the sulky little Sally he is. He whined on the floor, he whined from the bench. His head was on his tiff with Thomas, not the game, and his showing was the worst in years. This is the guy who will lead us to playoff glory?

``What's too cocky? You're supposed to be that way if you're one of the best teams in the
league.'' - Pierce

You would think that after such a humbling experience that our captain would be, well, humble. No. This dickhead reiterates his disjointed views on the values of cockiness. Hey Pierce, if you can stop repeating to yourself that you’re an All-Star for a minute, listen – cockiness is only valuable when you have the wherewithal to keep your head and back it up. You don’t.

"You can't do what GP (Gary Payton) does. He's the only one who can back it up. They're a
bunch of frontrunners." - Thomas

There seems to be a way in the NBA to talk shit, back it up and maintain respect from your peers. GP gets it. Jordan, Larry and Shaq get it. Assholes like Kobe, McGrady and Pierce do not.

The Celtics were challenged last night; they failed.

Recognize the second part of Thomas’s quote? K-Mart said the same thing about the AW/PP led C’s as his team dispatched of them twice in the playoffs. They talk shit when up, they disappear when challenged.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

 

The Taste of Shit

First of all, sorry it’s been so long, but I was really, really busy. I know people probably think I haven’t been writing because this 10 of 11 streak has shut me up and made me see the Celtics light and now I hide in a cave ashamed of my criticisms, begging for forgiveness from the likes of Ainge and Wyc and the nice people at TD Banknorth. Or something like that.

Not quite.

First of all, this winning streak has been amazing, and I’ll be the first to admit that I was wrong about the IMMEDIATE impact of the Walker trade. I think many of us underestimated his desire to win, and more importantly, his understanding of the need to retool his game in order to get re-signed. As it stands, there is no chance (zero, zilch, nada) that he doesn’t get at least a four year $40 million deal from the Celtics over the summer, which should serve as a savage example to fans of both “caveat emptor” (buyer beware) and “the emperor has no clothes.”

Ultimately, these toine-driven winning ways and our likely respectable showing in the playoffs also spells a definitive end to the Ainge rebuilding era. Unless we’re in the Finals, I would put money on Danny bolting over the summer. The really funny part of all of this Toine stuff is that as the one move Ainge didn’t want to make, it has been the one that completely changed the league’s opinion of his talents as a GM. Amazing shit. I think history will show that the Ricky trade was one of the greatest steals in NBA history, that the Laker trade was a definitive luxury tax-era hosing (that #1 we get could very well be lottery and we dumped a ton of contract space) and that we got three complete steals in the 2004 draft - but people still called Ainge a moron until he got Toine back.

Of course, the team that’s winning is not the team that Ainge wanted or wants or really has any desire to adopt as his own now that it’s successful. Take my word for it - Ainge still wants to trade Pierce and make this team a true youth driven run and gun outfit. That he can’t do it and now has to swallow a lot more shit and resign a player who he has no personal or professional respect for could very well be enough to make him bolt to Minnesota or wherever there‘s an opening. I think Ainge knows what we all know - that Toine will eventually revert to his old self and that Paul Pierce is not the kind of rallying figure and go-to guy classic championship teams are built around. Unfortunately, this is something that will be a continuous lesson for the next four years.

A couple other things…

Banks - I’ll admit, he’s turned it around, and frankly I’ve got no problem with him being the main backup next year if West starts. His decision making is still poor and he has no creativity as a passer, but he’s toned down the wildness and rebuilt himself as a decent, defensive driven back-up point. This guy will never start for a winning team in this league, but he’s found a decent niche.

Obie - outside of finally getting rid of Waltah, my greatest guilty pleasure of the season has been watching that smug fuck Jim O’Brien getting his just desserts at the hands of many angry Philadelphia fans. All the more reason to love Ricky D…

Thursday, March 10, 2005

 

Paul-Star Effort

``You're playing against a team in Atlanta, a team that you say you should beat. You know, I'd be more worried if we didn't have Antoine or Gary (Payton) or the number of veterans out there. A lot of young guys look at Atlanta and take them light, and then you can get caught sleeping. With veterans, we don't tend to take teams as light when you know what can happen. So I expect us to go out there and get the job done,’’ Paul Pierce.

Two words – Fuck You.

Despite the captain’s cautionary tales of letting your guard down against inferior teams, while at the same time insulting the young 5 with his pretentiousness, “Paul-Stars” AW, PP and GP put in one of the worst 10 minute efforts I have EVER seen in the NBA.

No energy, no running, no passing, no defense. Against a team with a 22-road losing streak, the worst team in the league, a team on the second of back-to-back nights. A good college team would beat Atlanta.

The following players scored 30 FUCKING points in the first quarter:

Harrington
Smith
Ekezie
Childress
Lue

Two rookies, two journeymen, and only one legit NBA starter. They schooled our vets with hustle, energy and desire. Some will spin this as ‘at least we gutted out a win.’ If you find yourself saying any variation of those words, you are a fool.
Throw in the fact that our “captain” had another childish outburst, and that the young 5 are not playing and you have a disastrous evening.

Friday, March 04, 2005

 

Winners or Wieners?

My favorite of the many inane rationalizations of the Walker trader is the laughable ‘AW can teach our youngsters how to win,’ argument. Huh?

Such a comment, I would assume, must be predicated on the theory that AW is a winner. Since he was drafted, those teams with #8 in their employ have logged a record of 296 wins and 383 losses. That bears repeating.

Antoine Walker is a career 296-383, a 44% winning percentage.

Now, that includes two of the worst team in NBA history, the ’96-97 Celts and the ’04-05 Hawks, but it also includes the 52-30 Dallas team from last year. How can a guy with almost 100 more losses in his career be considered a winner? Walker has had one legit playoff run in eight years. Hell, he’s only had 3 seasons over .500 in eight years.

Similarly, Celtic teams with Paul Pierce have a combined record of 248 wins and 269 losses. The dramatically overrated Pierce has had one playoff run in 6 years and only 2 winning seasons. Why does everyone think they are such big winners, and that they can teach are youngsters how to win?

Interestingly enough, two of the rookies apparently in drastic need of peers who know how to win - frankly are winners. Tony Allen’s Cowboys went 31-4 last year, reached the Final Four, and were a last second shot away from having the honor to lose to UConn in the Championship. West’s Hawks were 30-2, went most of the season with the burden of being undefeated, and become one of the few very small schools to make it as far as the Elite Eight. (I know PP and AW had successful college career too, I’m just making the point that these guys are already winners)

Maybe I’m being to negative, perhaps this will work out.

Maybe Allen and West can teach Walker and Pierce how to win.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

 

run, don't Walk(er)

Well, not to sound like a complete piss-ant and complain after a good win, but last night had plenty of reminders about why Antoine was shipped out of here to begin with. Those fucked-up turnovers where he runs the length of the court instead of passing, the ill-advised (and comically inaccurate) three pointers, and his bizarre inability to finish around the basket after getting good position. Not to mention the strange way team ball movement just seems to go away whenever he and Paul are on the floor together.

On the other hand, the team is inarguably better NOW with him on the court. If Doc has the balls to bench Blount completely and give 20+ a night to Big Al some of my concerns might be quelled. Of course, that will mean that our prized rookie, (who, according to the pro-Toine spin has now become delicate, impressionable, and in Dire Need of Guidance) will have to play out of position for the rest of the season as an undersized center. And, of course, it also means the end of the great Kendrick Perkins renaissance.

Looking at the remainder of this season, I maintain that Philly and Washington are paper tigers, but even playing at our very best, does anyone think these Celtics can take out Cleveland, Miami or Detroit in a seven game series, let alone any Western Conference team? Remember, the Laker team we barely beat last night in our building is on the cusp out in the west and probably won’t make the playoffs. The Mavs, Spurs, Kings and (full-strength) Phoenix would decimate this team and any of its possible AW/PP-and-supporting-cast iterations. Why is that important? Because the Ainge plan was to win an NBA championship, not settle for the shameless OB-era “we did play for a championship… the Eastern Conference Championship” spin.

Fuck it, I guess. I don’t know. What can you do? We’re going to win enough to look respectable, but we still have the same gaping flaws that kept this team from being a serious contender three years ago. Ownership is obviously going to return to the “add the pieces around Paul and Toine” mantra, and that pretty much dooms the Ainge vision to becoming the punch line to many fine jokes about the veracity of billionaires who say, “I’ll pay you to make decisions for me.” Instead we become caretakers to a fan-base that Wyc didn’t think had the attention span to endure a five-year plan, and will now have to content ourselves with being the Rockets of the East. Enjoy.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

 

Doom Power(less) Ratings

"I think we're one of the top eight teams in the league," Wyc.

Which league? The Eastern Conference? The WNBA?

Silly owner rah, rah comments aside, lets break down the teams ahead, and on par, with the current edition of our beloved, yet flawed, team. Thanks to some of the guys at Celtics-Nation for the various incarnations of this topic.

Been There Done That Title Contenders (3)

San Antonio, Miami, Detroit

I pick just three for this category because SA and Detroit have done it, and Shaq is still the most dominating player in the league. While several other teams have the records and talent to be title contenders, I’m just going with team/player playoff history for this top group.

Wouldn’t Be Surprised If They Made A Run (4)

Phoenix, Dallas, Denver, Philadelphia

Can Phoenix run in the playoffs, when play grinds to a halt? Personally, I am rooting for the Suns, since I love running basketball and I would love to see that mantra disproved. Two legitimate MVP candidates can’t hurt. Dallas has all the firepower, as usual, but can they play tough (getting Van Horn doesn’t help). Interestingly enough, the Mav’s, a team with Stackhouse coming off the bench, most important player during the playoffs may be Dampier. I like how Denver is playing right now under Karl, and I am happy K-Mart is in the West. Some of you may jump on me putting Phili here, but give it a week, I’m convinced AI, Webber and Korver will play great together. Would you be surprised if AI got back to the Finals?

Good Records, Good Players, Not Title Contenders (6)

Seattle, Sacramento, Houston, Memphis, Cleveland, Washington

Seattle can shot, can hit the boards, and can pass. But if they are not shooting over 40% from three, they are not getting out of the first round. The Kings just can’t get over the hump despite superior talent. Houston has two studs (legit studs, not PP/AW type studs) with some shooters. If I were more of a McGrady fan, I may have pushed them to the next level, but I’m not, so I won’t. Memphis has an intriguing blend of talent and a great coach, but when your go-to-guy is European, you’re not going too far in the playoffs (see Kings, Dallas the last few seasons). The Commissioner is rooting for Cleveland to make it (the next Jordan in the Finals at the age of 20, can you imagine the ratings!!!). An All-Star Center and an All-Star multi-talented wing, sounds like a certain championship team out west before they jettisoned the wrong player. Washington has scary talent.

By my count, there are 13 teams I find, without question, superior to the Celtics.

Just Good Enough To Make Playoffs, Unlikely To Win A Series (5)

Boston, Indiana, Chicago, Minnesota, Orlando

Two teams that contended for titles last year, the number 1 and 2 teams in the league record wise, now reside in this category – if they even make it into the playoffs. Watch out, though. Both teams still have great players, playoff experience, and the ability to quickly turn things around. If the Pacers get Artest back for the playoffs, they immediately vault into the second category above. Chicago’s 28-15 record since the beginning of December has to impressed even the most ardent Celtic fan. When they make the playoffs, they’re a bunch of kids playing with house money – no pressure. Orlando is starting to fall apart, but Francis, Hill and Howard is a pretty good threesome.

With all the bluster from happy ‘Toine fans, the Celtics are still a three game losing streak away from being in the lottery. Personally, I rate the Celtics anywhere between 14th and 18th in the league right now, which is where I figured they were prior to the mindless Walker deal.

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